Haywire Hefeweizen, It's Not Entirely Your Fault

This post is less of a review and more of a jeremiad (today's Word of the Day anyone?). Here is the picture and afterwords a story.

Culprit of my Aluminum Jeremiad

Based on actual events: So one evening a young man desired a beer but at the local liquor store found mostly beers with unsavory price tags, until in the corner he spied micro-brew for cheap. 'What he bargain!' The naive child giddily thought as he purchased the item with laundry money. At his apartment, he poured a frothy glass and as he tasted it's sweet....metallic-ness? At once, his mind became awash with memories long suppressed, images and tastes from other beverages such as Coca-Cola and Modelo Especial ruined by the element known...as...Alum (street name 'Aluminum'). He struggled on, heroically utilizing his years of suppression to continue bravely onward. Sip, after sip, after sip brought forth the beer's watered-down banana and uninspiring spice, however, the finish could not hide the disgusting afterbirth of aluminum in the Pyramid Brewery's beer and so he threw the can over the porch railing and fell to his knees screaming "STELLA!" for no readily apparent reason. What was left in the tallboy, soon emptied onto the ground before an awaiting terrier, scraggly and unkempt, who sniffed and licked at the light but cloudy golden color. Its lips curled up as it turned to make haste, but not before muddying the classless, aluminum-tainted liquid with its excellence. It kicked the can down the marina dock where the notorious Sea Lion 'Sanctuary Sam' seized the moment and clenching the tallboy between his jowls, escaped into the starless night.

Everyone was a loser here: the young man, the pissant terrier, Sancutary Sam, PETA and especially Greenpeace.

Moral of the story, spend the extra dollar and go with glass; only cheap beer and soft drinks whose end purpose is to provide quantity consumption (over quality) deserve a metallic poisoned coffin. Oh and Haywire Hefeweizen deserves to be on THE ISLAND, where he will be visited by Sanctuary Sam.