Saint Arnold Stout and Sailing Santa are not inspiring a miracle on 34th street

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for a chubby mouse, because I was out delivering gifts to family friends, who then graciously invited me in to drink their beer and eat their cheese. Warm houses and friends and round bellies, that is the Christmas spirit. The Hamels, who I'll be skiing with next week and whose wedding I went to last year (the reference below on the napkin), offered me a brew I had seen on local shelves but had not acquired.

The Saint Arnold brewery is for the moment, the only local Houston brewery, and we visited it around this time last year (St. Arnold Brewery Tour). From what I can gather the Stout is one of their newer additions and a departure from their typically German style of brewing. It's billed as a seasonal 'Winter Stout' and clocks in at 5.6% alcohol. There is subtle roast aroma and the body is light, giving credence to debunking the myth that all dark beers are heavy. Only Guinness tastes heavy people, and it still has fewer calories than Bud Light (give or take). This Stout has flavors of coffee and a hint of chocolate, but otherwise this is more of a beer to consume rather than enjoy because it lacks a robust character. If I'm out at a bar this week and it's on tap, I'll enjoy ordering it, but don't go out of your way. ARMAGEDDON rating.

This is the first entry I will have posted since drinking a beer every day for 400 days. Since I'm no longer drinking on the straight and narrow, I can drink on the far and wide, which makes for a poor saying but a truthful fortune; i.e., drinking multiples of large beers in one day will make me F-A-T like Jolly Saint Nick.

Speaking of, leave it to me to only just now decorate the Christmas tree with my personal ornaments the night before Christmas. Fortunately, I have found just the man to help me get far and wide tonight.

Sailing, surfing, Santa does it all. Saint Arnold is also attempting some dexterity with their Sailing Santa, which is a blend of their fantastic Elissa IPA and their delightful Christmas Ale. What rating will the Sailing Santa receive for Christmas?

Well, Santa likes to party with a heartwarming 7%. The IPA really shows through with grapefruit and citrus flavors following a subdued hoppy bitterness. This combines with an unfortunately light spice from the Christmas ale. I'm not feeling the greatness of an inspired blend here. What made the Elissa IPA so fantastic was the clean, razor like bitterness of the hops. And the spice in the Christmas Ale, like Rudolph's Red nose, was the star of the show. Here, St. Arnold has combined the two only to mute the best characteristics of each.

Like the stout, Sailing Santa is a fine drinking beer, but why drink a dull combination when you can drink a smaller bottle of each, right? Maybe use a straw and can mix them together in your mouth? That doesn't make sense but neither does a surfing Santa. Board shorts in the Arctic? Come on! Where's his dry suit? ARMAGEDDON rating and Merry Christmas to all. 

Saint Arnold Texas Wheat welcomes Kevin Bacon

I arrived home to David's always delicious clam chowder and a gift from his office, Google TV. What is that contraption you ask? I'll let Kevin Bacon enlighten you:

 The last beer I brought back from Houston based brewery Saint Arnold is their "Wheat" beer. Now, I originally confused this with a hefeweizen, which it is certainly not and the wheat was so offenced by this generalization that it forced me to drop it tonight. But I have Allstate and I'm in good hands, which caught the bottle. Anywho, I know that all wheat's aren't hefe's, and I realize this fellow is a crystal-weizen, which means it is super light and crisp and what I imagine a cumulonimbus cloud tastes like.

Darth Vader "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!"

What's also fun about tonight is that we're tasting the Wheat in Hite glasses we stole from Korean BBQ last Friday night and they're the perfect size. Remember kids, sometimes petty larceny does pay. This brew would be refreshing on a summer afternoon, ARMAGEDDON rating.

Saint Arnold Elissa IPA after a legend's memorial service

I believe this beer is the best Saint Aronld's has to offer. The Elissa is a smooth, slightly sweet and medium bodied hoppy IPA. If you enjoy the bitterness of a Stone IPA, then this beer is for you. TRANSFORMERS rating.

Fear the StormTater! He will mash the stuffing out of you

I usually don't stray far from writing about the point of this blog, but I will say that tonight I went to a memorial service for my former boss of two years, Ed Limato, who passed away July 3rd and the experience was everything it should have been. Ed would be proud. If you Google his name, you'll see a lot of press about him. I worked for him during a tumultuous time, while after being President of one talent agency for over 15 years, he sued and took them to court because they wanted him to retire. He won in a landmark decision and we went to another agency. He was as big a star as his clients and was revered accordingly throughout the industry (there were 300-400 people there tonight including a bevy of celebrities). I didn't even address him as Ed until after a year working for him, it was always "Mr. Limato." Among other things, he was famous for his annual Oscar Party and I had the honor to plan his final 'soiree for the stars' in 2007. Anyway, tonight at the service Elton John gave an emotionally charged performance of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down" and several of his major clients gave eulogies, reminiscing about Ed and how much they missed him. Each actor spoke of Ed as being a paternal influence in their life. He guided, fought for, taught and above all protected those close to him.  If you know the stereotype about Hollywood Talent Agents than you know how incredibly different Ed was from the gold standard. There will never be another one like him, he was undeniably a legend. He treated his clients and assistants as family and called us his 'kids' (there were at least 20 of his former assistants there tonight). Working for Ed as a naive 23 year old was my first job out of college and a large part of me grew up under his watchful eye and profane mouth (he was a legendary courser). One of his clients said that "he lived a dream and he allowed us to live in it as well" and I feel that speaks of my experience with him as well.

Out of the many stories I have of him, one of my favorite occurs after I told him I was leaving to work for a director because I wanted to be a writer (leaving Ed was rare because almost all of his assistants worked for many years to become an career agent under his tutelage). He was certainly sad to see me go (do know that he got over it quickly), but on the way out the door he sauntered past me chuckling and in his deep but cordial growl said, "Goodnight Hemingway" and strolled away with a smile.

It is one of many legendary lines that will stick with me for the rest of my years. To say the least he had a huge influence on me and tonight I was reminded of his indelible influence in my life, and I suppose as part of my catharsis I want to write about him here. He was one hell of a man to work for sometimes but he had a good heart and he genuinely cared for us and I know he's in a better place.

Rest in peace Mr. Limato,
Hemingway

(other names you may have called me include "#3, Walk Walk, Wayne, Wendall, Speak up no one will ever hear you, What's your number? You! Get in here!! and occasionally, Walker).

Saint Arnold week continues with the Amber Ale

Home to watch the national championship game and ketchup on two long entries over Christmas, including my trip to the Shiner Brewery (Shiner Dortmunder, check it out). Poor Oregon, I hoped they would pull it out (that's what she said). Although Oregon didn't win, David did book a cabin in Big Bear for the upcoming three day weekend, so....winnnnnahh.

We have a bunch of the Houston-based St. Arnold brewery and the Amber is the 2nd so far. It pours a light color. The taste is smooth and has a light caramel touch to it. When I toured the St. Arnold brewery over Christmas, their beers came across as simple but clean and refreshing, however, there wasn't a complex one that knocks my pants off.

In comparison to the Christmas Ale, I enjoyed this a little more. ARMAGEDDON rating.

St. Arnold Christmas Ale is on par with TIME COP

Home after having dinner with AJ and Nic, where we watched EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP WINDOW, a really fascinating documentary about street artists that was directed by Banksy. You should check it out on Netflix streaming.

We poured the St. Arnold Christmas Ale just as TIME COP started, NICE.

I found a plethora of animal pornography under David's bed and this was the least graphic

It smells like cereal, like toasted Cheerios. It's a brown ale with a caramel and slight spice profile, but it's a little sour like Jeanne Claude Van Damme's accent. It's decent, but not my favorite. ARMAGEDDON rating.

Also, Van Damme's character in TIME COP is Agent Walker, so thanks to Van Damme and his choppy English I now have a great new voice-mail message. Great success

St. Arnold Brewery Tour and Tasting in Houston!

Saint Arnold's is a Houston based brewery and their beers have been spreading like wildfire throughout Houston restaurants and bars over the last two years.  They primarily make German style beer and strictly follow their Purity Laws. My Dad and I traveled down there to join friends Sam V, Emily H, Allison and Andrew for a tasting and tour. This is my first one of two breweries I'll be touring during my holiday break in Houston.

Here's the tasting menu, their Texas Wheat is a crystal weizen and is super light. The Elissa IPA was pretty good and their Winter Stout was impressive.

Fancy Lawnmower is their award winning kolsch beer and mine for the day. Crisp, clean and refreshing, would be perfect for a hot summer day. I wouldn't buy this on a regular basis but I throughly enjoyed tasting it and suggest the same for you. ARMAGEDDON rating.

The owner himself, Brock Wagner gave us a tour their new brew factory which is very professional and includes a large Oktoberfest style beer hall. They've been around for 16 years and are apparently Houston's only microbrew. Unfortunately for everyone outside of Texas and Louisiana, you won't be able to find buy their product. They have 29 employees and their yearly output rose 5,000 barrels last year to 31,000 barrels.

Their fermentation tanks are all named after Saints, except for one named after the late beer taster and legend, Michael Jackson (not the king of pop).

For $7, we received a tour, an 8oz glass and 30oz of beer spread between 4 different types. If you're in the Houston area it's worth a trip! They're open during the week from 3-4:15pm and on Saturday from 11am-2pm. There were over 50 people there today, a Tuesday, and I'd put money down that Saturdays would be a good time.