Mission IPA - classic tale of Goldilocks

I'm packing up and taking care of lose ends before my trip to Chicago tomorrow, so I'm going to bang this fella out and get to bed (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID).

Last of the Missions

Well Mission, this beer barely beat the crest of the wave here. It's not too hoppy (and you say you're from California?!) but it's not underwhelmingly bitter; it has some caramel tones and body but nothing startling; it's not that bad but unfortunately you're not that good either. ARMAGEDDON rating.

Mission, you're from San Diego and I expected better this week. I mean, we even gave you the benefit of the doubt when you're first 2 beers were terrible, writing in our little interweb journals about how we thought something had happened during distribution - it couldn't be the beers fault. But like fools who blame the other guy when his girlfriend cheats on him, we should know better. You were really just that disappointing. I feel like Nev in CATFISH.

Mission Amber - my nipples are no longer hard for Mission beer week

David takes one look at the beer and deadpans "Of fuck this isn't gonna be good." HAHAHA. This is the first week really we've really dived into brewery and I'm thinking that we rolled snake eyes. 

My sign says Gerber

This beer isn't fucked though. Is our theory about the other two Mission beers wrong? We thought that it was the bottles, but after this one I'm thinking the other beers were just that shoddy. Regardless, this Amber is not a stellar beer. Crazy carbonation and it's super malty. I'm beginning to think that Mission would rather shock you (like a genre horror film) than seduce you with drinks across the bar and roses from an pestering Spanish woman. This Amber is better than the other Mission beers but still not special. My boner for this weeks tasting has officially deflated and I can only hope the New Belgium Lips of Faith will restore it. THE ISLAND RATING.

Blonde Mission(ary) UnAccomplished

Did I mention I like Blondes? Especially Belgian. No blonde jokes will be found on this website. However, see this fellow here:

Blondes have more fun, but not here

As reported yesterday, David and I think something's disastrously wrong in with the bottle/beer. Something has gone wrong, probably on the way to the store. Maybe it go too hot. Maybe too cold. Because it's not just right. Another really sour beer taste. Nothing is mentioned in the beer reviews of this, so we can only assume this is a 'corked' beer, for lack of a better term. This has become a sad week at the PlattiBrooks House of Sweet Love and International Pancakes.

UPDATE 10/5 - Wish I had two more thumbs so I could give this blonde 4 thumbs down. PEARL HARBOR rating.

Mission Brewery Hefe Hefe

Not to be confused with the Mission St based Paso Robles which we've been drinking recently, this is a fairly well known San Diego brewery. We tasted and wow! An explosion of orange peels. Not just orange, but the rind too...And then the sourness. Really, really sour. Hmmm, something isn't right here.

Sploosh

So I'm really excited because David bought three Mission beers this week and three Lips of Faith, so we're planning on tasting a flight (so to speak) of beers from two particular breweries. Great choice David. While the reviews online aren't particularly good, they're not overwhelmingly bad like this beer. We're going to taste another Mission tomorrow and let you know. Holding out on judgment until all the facts are in, NO RATING.

UPDATE - 10/5 I'm behind on my writing but catching up fast. We concluded that there was nothing wrong with the bottle, this beer turns out to be the opposite of dank - poopish. It just wasn't good. Despite a label I liked, PEARL HARBOR rating.

Mission St. Brown Ale couldn't distract me from CATFISH

Our second beer from the Paso Robles brewery/Firestone Walker subsidiary which I purchased from the Trader of the Joes. We poured while Jamie K and Aaron B joined us for the much buzzed about documentary CATFISH.

The beer didn't stir me nearly as much as CATFISH did or what I was hoping for after a disappointing Blonde. There were roasted malt tones and caramel but overall the body lacked the richness of the Sierra Nevada Tumbler we had several weeks ago. Overall, kinda weak. 

Now CATFISH was a surprising delight. It lived up to the hype but in a different manner than I expected. It was very emotionally engaging. I refuse to say anymore, you really just have to see for yourself. It's worth a viewing, unlike Mission St. Brown Ale. THE ISLAND rating.

Tenaya Creek Hefeweizen

Many whiskeys into a horrible Texas vs. UCLA game (Texas was embarrassed, thank goodness I was too late throw down my unborn child's college fund against a team UT should have steamrolled), I saddled up to the bar and spotted an unfamiliar face. She cost too much, so I looked again and someone else. Tanaya Creek is a local brewery and is the official beer of The Bellagio (as well as Treasure Island and Mandalay Bay).I tried the Hefeweizen.

Vegas was good to me, but not to my sports teams or z beer

Typical Vegas, Tenaya Creek didn't get a fair shake here. When I asked the bartender about the Hefe, he shrugged and said, "It's something different, ya know?" Ouch. What did 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP. See, when someone describes a food or especially a drink as "different," it's the equivalent of saying someone of the opposite sex has great "personality." It's the politest but also the most unflattering description possible.

So the Tenaya Creek Hefeweizen thankfully took my attention away momentarily from a disastrous football game but it was a bittersweet moment. The Hefeweizen didn't taste at all like a hefe. Maybe it was a bad keg, but it tasted more like a big pale lager. Sunday I watched the fascinating documentary CATFISH and I can't tell you any more about it but this beer is a Catfish. Well, that's Vegas isn't it? Nothing goes as expected, nothing is quite as it seems.

I had a great weekend with my parents and my brother and his girlfriend. Friday I ran into an old Houston friend who was there with a bachelor party and spent the evening with free bottle service at the Bellagio club, whatever that's called. Saturday night I saw LOVE (really really cool), ate at Julian Serrano's Picasso restaurant (amazing, duh) and then went out alone around midnight and made friends with some Brits. Gotta love'm. Paid for my first and hopefully last $10 Heineken. A couple hours later, I was still up to see this:

Vegas sunrise gives me 'a cat ate the canary' grin

Vegas, it's been too long and I won't let so much time pass before I give you all my money in exchange for a sleepless night and hazy stories. Rating my weekend, it was THE ROCK, edging close to BAD BOYS. As far as the Hefe, sorry micro brew Tenaya, you got a bad shake. PEARL HARBOR rating. 

New Belgium 1554 Enlightened Black Ale

I was flying to the airport right after work and had 15 minutes to pack for a weekend in Vegas and drink a beer. I of course have my priorities wrong and chose to ensure the transportation of underwear, consecutively numbered Benjamins and plenty of aluminum foil and Angel Dust to Sin City rather than drink my beer properly.

So unfortunately there's no picture because I drank this guy out of my steel water bottle. Fail. It wasn't that good and had way too much metallic-ness. Fortunately, reviews online substantiate my mediocre tasting minus the metallic aftertaste. ARMEGGEDON rating.

Don't Fear The Reaper...Mortality Stout

What a goofy name. A little web research reveals the little microbrew is co-owned by a fellow who runs a heavy metal musical instrument store down there. I guess that kind of explains the horrible label art full of silly fanged skulls and ravens and all sorts of "dark" imagery. If you've ever read this blog, you'll know there are some labels and names that are stupid and I'm not a fan of. But usually their beer sucks. Au contraire mon friar...

Blue Oyster Cult was RIGHT

Each time we're tasting a Stout, I find myself suddenly absentminded. Oh look, Lindsey Blohan is going back to rehab. Oh look, there's a wheat thin under the refrigerator. I'm not hungry but I'll take it. It's just personal preference. Stouts don't tickle my excitement bone, mainly because I don't like many of them and in my experience they tend to disappoint, like crusty cookies or M. Night Shymalan movies. But this guy is different, he tastes NICE. 

Beautiful pour. Toffee and coffee and slight nut taste tone that finishes with a light chocolate. This was pretty well balanced. The color also surprised me. Judging by the label, you'd never know how tasteful it is. Until we poured it, I thought a snake was going to pop out of the bottle or something. But damn, this was GOOD. WELCOME TO THE ROCK. Go to Bev Mo or wherever and buy this, it's worth it.

Ninkasi Radiant Summer Ale is Not Toooo Shabby

This fellas has a great color, a glowing red/amber that's actually close to the Fall Harvest Moon that showed itself tonight, nice timing Ninkasi.

If the Harvest Moon was made of cheese, would you eat it? I would and I'd polish it off with a cool, tall Radiant Ale.

David thinks its sour, but I dig this beer. There's solid floral taste followed sharply with some bitterness, but not overwhelming. This guy isn't well balanced, but it held my attention. This was priced reasonably and it's an off-brand. Try it. I'll certainly drink again. TRANSFORMERS rating.

Steel Reserve 211

Over the Summer I developed a healthy obsession with CASTLE and Monday it came back! I'm stoked about this as well as the highly anticipated BOARDWALK EMPIRE, which has begun its short but sweet run. Whilst David was Lederhosing it up in Munich, I bought the 24oz Steel Reserve at the grocery store for $1.79. I'd never heard of it and being cheap, I considered it an apt choice until David's return. Seeing it upon Tuesday night however, David was previously aware of its existence and offered his opinion:

Fall TV is back with a bang

"Isn't this a joke beer?" he inquired. I shrugged and chuckled but secretly I was worried a cobra with steely reserve was going to pop out and bite my eyeball when it was opened. My mind goes to dark places. Why didn't I think the beer would tickle my funny bone with a humorous pun instead? Damn, I should've been on drugs.

So I didn't think it was that bad - for malt liquor. If I was at gun point in an Inglewood convenience store and the robber asked me to pick out some dank malt liquor that was above 8.1% alcohol for his Boo, I'd pass up an Old English or a Mickeys and swipe this one. But in terms of good beer? Not so much.

This my midnight purchase. See, if I was going to a late night BYOB hootenanny or hoedown wearing flannel and ready to party like a hobo with a beer accessorized by a brown sack, I'd pick this fella out of the lineup. It's Natty Light's bigger stronger cousin or as I will henceforth call it, the "I don't care it's late" beer. For it's cheapness and ability to party at a whim's notice, TRANSFORMERS 2. 

P.S.
I always have to point out stuff like the following out because it's offensively obvious. Beer and marketing. It's fascinating and insulting at the same time. You're really writing "extra malted barely a select hops for extra gravity" on the can? You know what gravity refers to? It refers to the specific gravity of the wort or must at various stages in the fermentation - fermenting alcoholic beverages. See unless you're a brewer, gravity is not a familiar term and it's just a buzz word to the common folk. Marketing might as well throw in buzz words from the original Batman played by Adam West, who would say such zingers as "Kapow! Kabluey! Whammo!"

Here's an odd fact for you. The geniuses at Miller Light who made this beer coined the marketing term 'high gravity', but Anheuser-Busch liked the word so much they created the Hurricane High Gravity Lager with a similar price point. Yuck. Thank you Jebus for microbrew beer.

Watching Monday Night Football with Friends on a freaking WALL TV is much better than Moretti La Rossa Birra Doppio Malto

Monday Night Football was on and I went over to Twister M's house to watch the Saints eeeck out a game against '49ers with his roommate Adam on their ENORMOUS wall TV. I loved their set up. 1080p HD projection with surround sound that vibrated my couch back. Color me impressed.

One bad bitch of a TV

Despite my slight affection for The Saints, I was hoping the beleagured San Francisco team would pull off an upset, but Drew Brees proved why he's the bomb in the final 1:30 and pulled out a W.

The Moretti La Rossa is a Doppelbock that pours a dark amber and smells of caramel and heavy malts. It has an even bigger sour malt taste and didn't finish well. I lived in Italy a full year and never had this fella and don't recall ever seeing it either (the original Moretti, certainly, but not this). The sour malt stayed with me until after I returned home. Blerg. Better luck next time 49ers, and Moretti I can't help but rate you TRANSFORMERS 2.

BJ's Oktoberfest - A Final Destination Dinner

So this weekend was supposed to be the Great San Diego brewery trip of 2010, but that was postponed after David received an impromptu invitation to Oktoberfest. Not to let the weekend become a waste, I announced a brewery trip to local Eagle Rock in the valley. But come Sunday, I discovered they were closed in order to attend (along with 461 other breweries) the Great American Beer Fest in Colorado. Perhaps another time Eagle Rock

I settled for BJ's Restaurant (a microbrewery/pizza chain) located in Culver City with Nic R, AJ and David L. It is here where we encountered a malevolent force who's anger against beer glasses (AABG) was so powerful that it freed our beers twice from the frosty mugs, much to our dismay. Story after the picture. I started with a Jeremiah Red but switched my beer for the day to the Oktoberfest in the second round.

And by most popular they mean, 'one of their few' seasonal beers

The beer is slightly darker than the Hofbrau Oktoberfest and burned malts are prevalent. The biggest difference is that it's well-rounded. Yada yada, it's good. Drink it while you can. TRANSFORMERS rating.

So beer glass destruction happened. Was there a coincidence? Probably not, I'm not stupid. Shit happens. When it rains it pours. And other cliches. We were about 20 minutes into what some people call dinner but others call a baby screaming behind us incessantly (a.k.a. the best form of birth control), when David L picked up his beer in mid conversation. About 30 seconds later, the bottom inexplicably fell out and beer flowed like wine. We all had a good laugh at the absurd moment and our waiter Ryan took it to show the bartender because no one had seen this happen before. We guessed that there must have been a crack about an inch above the glass' bottom lip. It was a freak accident and certain we'd seen the last spill of the evening.

As we signed for the check, Ryan was taking our plates away when a knife slipped off and split my beer halfway down its side. Again, beer flowed like wine, adding insult to injury. But we both enjoyed a new beer and took it in stride. It was a Final Destination Dinner.

In a big P.S., I'm including the next statement for its inclusion into the annals of my life. In a Herculean test of moral strength, I declined a Pizookie (cookie pie topped with ice cream)...

I want to bury my face in your chocolate chip bosom

...in an effort to continue eating healthy/make up for the 3 steins of beer I drank Saturday during table building and the Texas Longhorn football game (which included a burger from In-And-Out).

If you don't know me well and are wondering why this is such a monumental moment, let me provide some context; my alter-ego is Popp'n Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy (my writing alias found at the bottom); I also own this shirt:

And this one:

So it's a feat that has never happened before. Golf clap where you are please.

Hofbrau Oktoberfest

Frau David left me a gift before his flight to Munich: three Hofbrau Oktoberfest beers and a cold stein to match, again proving he's a scholar and gentleman. Armed with these fellas, I won't be left out of the start of Oktoberfest. Classy move roomie.

So Saturday I drank while I built my hammock side table, that has over 200 corks. As I was about to fill the stein I had an unexpected visitor, an escaped neighborly English Bulldog named Monty, who is badass. He joined my building party and brew-ha-ha for a couple of hours till his master came home.

I am awesome

Below is the present David left me:

There in spirit

So the beer itself is just OK. It's fairly malty, not quite balanced and closer to a pilsner (than a lager). But let's be honest. A). It looks awesome. Okay, duh. But in the spirit of Oktoberfest, what's really important here? B). Drinkability. It's time to party here. You can drink steins of this stuff. In this light, the beer is quite a success. Who cares if it's not a BAD BOY or on THE ROCK?! Eat, drink and be merry, for I'd rather not sober up because I might have put Monty-poo in my roommate's bed after I got lost on the way to his clothes hamper. Um, that's how I roll?

ARMAGEDDON rating, but who cares? Drink, drink it up!

Here's my table for those two people who care about home crafts (mom included). It ain't perfect, but I don't really care because it's a outdoor side table. The top looks sweet though and I'm proud of it. Check, check...check it out now:

Brewdog Hardocre IPA 9.2 Imperial Ale is a forget-me-not

David takes off tomorrow (Friday) for Munich so we had our first post midnight tasting 12:30am and chose the mysterious Brewdog....brew.

Ahhh, right

This fella was a doozy. It was wild, like a free-range turkey. This dog really brewed my stew. Imperceptibly, it was like drinking Novocaine, and I can't believe the beer actually ripped my taste buds right off. Like love, it was a mysterious fig.

Ok, gig's up. In case the light bulb hasn't turned on, I can't remember drinking this beer, which is terrible. Not terrible that my faculties failed - pfff, what's new - but that I can't remember Friday's beer. I'd been drinking Wild Turkey on the rocks all night during the IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA and THE LEAGUE season premieres. It was late and whatever, I'm not gonna apologize. Sometimes I'm a terrific lush.

However, I will pledge to drink this again and create a proper write up, so the P.S. you'll see below sometime in the future will be my addendum. Rating pending...

Port Brewing Panzer Imperial Pilsner

A +1 and a -1 going for this beer. Positive because "imperial pilsner" sounds really interesting. Negative because there's a cartoon picture of a tank on the label.

First sip. Isn't this an IPA? Second sip. No, wow, I can definitely see what they mean by IMPERIAL pilsner. You can taste the Pils, but everything is on steroids. The hops are no longer subtle. The alcohol is no longer light. It's 9.5% and you can taste it, it's peppery and unmasked. But the malt is still light, strangely. An incredibly unique beer, though not perfect. I will buy this again so I can have a pair and see what else is left to discover. Impressed, and glad that my anticipation was rewarded.

This beer is R2-D2. Pilsners always seem to be the baby brother of specialty beers, the weak and vulnerable alternative to a American style definitely-shitty light beer. R2-D2 was, for a robot, The Man. He was always the rogue player in a situation, and didn't wouldn't care if the alcohol was too high or the hops to dank. R2-D2 partied. If I could type an R2 "beep, boop, whatever", I would.

Port Brewing Panzer Imperial Pilsner

There's a lot going on with this beer, from the label to it's name. Imperial. Pilsner. The name is a mouthful and so is this beer.

Blitzkrieg Bop

Grassy aroma. Sharp taste, but clean. The Poppin Fresh Pillsbury Doughboy kid in me grew up loving milkshakes. I wasn't like Red Riding Hood. I never said: this one's too milky, this one's too thick. All of them were just right. I'm a fat kid inside, that's why my alter-ego is Poppin Fresh. Anywho, one of my favorite shakes was the Half 'n Half from The Hard Rock - half chocolate and half vanilla - with chocolate shaving's on top. This beer is similar. I can taste HOPS. Cut. Bring on the PILSNER. Then that's cut off again with a dry finish. The second tasting brings out even greater bitterness. This beer is raw but I golf clap their artistry. The drinkablility is killed by onslaught of hops but it makes for a distinctive beer. TRANSFORMERS rating.

Mission Street Blonde is not your Catfish

More malty than hoppy, this beer kinda seems just a few steps up from your run-of-the-mill cheap beer, like a maltier Bud Heavy, or even a heavy tasting Coors Light. Won't get it again, and for those who might be looking to mix it up with a small craft beer, go elsewhere.
This beer is Haylie Duff. Yeah, they put her in Napoleon Dynamite, so what? I hope Mission Street Blonde has an awkward sister. I bet Mission Street has a good beer - not that Hillary is that good either.

Mission St. Blonde Ale did not knock my pins over

Coming home after the opening game of my bowling league in which I bowled TERRIBLY, David poured Mission St. Blonde Ale as soon as I walked in the door. The label says it's brewed in Paso Robles, but the brand is really an offshoot of Firestone brewing.

I love blondes (pun quite intended) so when I saw it at Trader Joes I asked for her number and asked her out. But then I never called her back.

David has a boner for his new Double Dutch Oven.

I usually attempt to judge each beer on it's own and not compare it to another beer/style, but that's just the case sometimes. Accordingly, this beer doesn't remind me of a blonde. It's unusually bitter and has lots of malts. But it's not very complex. Tired from a craptastic night of rolling, this blonde didn't entertain me well. THE ISLAND rating.

Rogue American Amber. A million times more delicious than cod worms.

Dead Guy was one of my first "holy crap, what is this?!" beers, so I'm really hoping this is good. Aaaaaaaand, it IS.

The slightly toasted malt gives the subtlest hint of a dark beer, a little like wood or nuts, while letting the hops play an equally subtle, co-starring role.

So it turns out were at Aaron Bs making sweet potato crusted pacific cod, see picture, as well as salt baked branzino. And just as Aaron is getting ready to dip a filet of the cod. BAM WIGGLE!!! He finds a worm on it! WHOA! Sam J gets on the Google, only to discover that, while
repulsive, they're pretty common and will not grow babies in your belly that eventually escape through your...

Back to the beer. In honor of his shared regional heritage with Rogue (Oregon), smooth demeanor and balanced, laid-back character, this beer is Sam J. He also is enjoying it with us and likes it quite a bit. The worm will not be enjoying the beer with us.

Rogue American Amber Ale Fights Terrorists

Coming back from from an intense Krav Maga workout I joined Aaron B, Sam B, Jaime and David at Baseman's lair for beer. We watched Sniper Deadliest Missions on the History Channel during dinner. The production on that show is excellent, the best I've seen for a re-creation and the graphics are ridiculous. SWAT snipers hunting fugitives from helicopters and Marine Snipers in Fallujah killing terrorists from over 1300 meters? You know what kind of channel History is? THE BEST kind of channel. I was armed with a Rogue American Amber Ale.

Fugitive Michael Alan Silka takes aim but he's gonna be toast in three seconds

The others were cooking fish so I couldn't smell but what a beautiful color! I need to fix the flash on my camera, I know, but the color was enough to get me excited. Subtle malts followed by even subtler hops. Well balanced with a quick finish. Thanks to the water, there's a little metal aftertaste but it is soon forgotten.  I'd have to consult the charts but I believe this is one of (if not the first) amber ale we drank and Rogue, I knew you wouldn't disappoint. After so many full bodied, heavy Belgians, I was elated to realize that I could drink a lot of these. Tonight was perfectly excellent. THE ROCK rating.

Quote of the night, a marine sniper said in a perfectly normal tone;

"...and that's when I dropped the hammer on him" 

Just another day in a life for soldiers. Mess with a Marine and they're gonna mess with you. Enemy combatants, I hope you like eating lead. Booyah. U.S.A. wins.

Unfinished Beer and Lagunitas Hop Stoopid

Thought I finished beer from last night, but hadn't. David warned me it was a poor idea to kick it back. As I'm not one to take advice, I drank a sip and it was certainly bitter but not undrinkable. So I had polished the rest off (not much) and my mouth imploded from the bitterness. Remember those elementary school experiments using baking soda to recreate volcanoes? My reaction was as violent as that chemical reaction. As quickly as I shot it back, it flew out my front door and in the drain. David garnered a laugh at my expense (how unusual) but lauded my effort to finish last night's conquest. And I learned an important lesson, which I will undoubtedly soon forget.

Now rewind, this event is important for another reason. A beer was left unfinished...

After 37 or so beers, this is the first time such an event occurred and David realized this required our attention. It probably won't be the last unfinished beer, and so now we have our first opportunity to formulate additional BeerEveryDay Constitutional Law. What if one of us doesn't finish their beer? The quest for the grail is sacred, and we need a rule in place and a penalty. I've thought of a few consequences, from a back-handed ball-tap to downing nasty Campari shots. What do you think? Have any suggestions?

Upward and onward, Monday's beer was the Lagunitas Hop Stoopid:

Is that really necessary?

Has a musty, bready smell. Bitterness is prevalent but not crisp. Taste is OK, I could swear the flavor 'towel' is mixed in there with lemon.

I too would like to comment on the beer's name and I totally agree with David. I think Hop Stoopid is an obnoxious title. If you love hopst, you'll love this. We get it, with an 102 I.B.U., there's a shit ton hops. But come on, be a yeast more creative. In the world of craft brew, is a label that I can only conject as pure marketing really necessary (or even welcome)? If Anhueser-Busch made this beer for the uninformed mass market, the name might be appropriate. The blue collar crowd may not know what IBU's are (or ironically even hops).

My philosophy is that a beer should speak for itself. Consider Bear Republic and Green Flash Double IPA - the name speaks for itself. They're known for their hops, but they didn't name it Hoporific or Hops-a-ca-gillion or Hop-orama. I'm not a beer snob but have a little class Lagunitas, you're acting like the pigtail schoolgirl who hikes up her skirt and leans over desks. You're easy and all the boys all know, you don't need to advertise. Word gets around at the same rate you do.

For your lack of character flavor and tacky name, I banish you Lagunitas Hop Stoopid to THE ISLAND.

Lagunitas Hop Stoopid Ale

Yep, that's about 100 IBUs. This is a beer that was invented for people who are bored of IPAs, and that worries me, not so much from a there-are-too-many-beers standpoint, but more that it's a cheap promotion for a beer that doesn't seem to be trying very hard. It's good enough, but making a special effort to highlight IBUs on a label is like Jolt Cola putting a big "3x Caffeine!!!" label on their bottles - it's gimmicky, silly, and indicative of a certain acknowledgement that there isn't much going on with a beer. Kinda sad.

In related news, this beer is Billy Zane's "as himself" character in Zoolander. A good-looking, muscle shirt-wearing guy that would get in Zoolander's court, even when Bowie himself is calling the walk-off. You would choose to lose in front of BOWIE?! You're a cheap idiot Billy Zane! Yes, you are a manly man-man, with large, hoppy chesticles, but Derek Zoolander just wedgied his balls and Bowie has disqualified him, how silly do you look now? 100 IBUs? Not impressed.

Rubicon IPA is Frodo's beer

I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to watch the VMAs. Crapfest. Rubicon, maybe you could be the standout closing performance of the night?

This is pretty hoppy, I actually wondered if it was a double IPA before checking the label again, but I also think that's a pretty standard reaction to the first sip of an IPA. This doesn't try to break the standard IPA mold and that's fine with me. It mellows out a little once you get about halfway in, but nothing distinctive jumps out.

This beer is Elijah Wood. Commercially successful, completely capable of standing on stage with other great actors, but when you get down to it, not very distinctive. I mean, I'm not pissed he was Frodo, but I'm always left thinking, "That's it? Meh, ok."

This Weekend's Nightcap - Rubicon IPA

I returned from a night in Koreatown, doing a little pre-season bowling (starts Wednesday!). Bowled a very feminine 75 the first game - was my first game in months - but bounced back in the second for 138. My average last year was 145/150, so I'm in a good spot right now. Also tried my first Papusas at a Salvadorian restaurant, which was cheap and goood. David and I cracked open a Rubicon IPA to watch the last two concerts in an underwhelming VMA's from Linkin Park (playing at the Griffith Observatory, which would be awesome) and Kanye West, who pulls off a red suit like a pimp but his performance was archaic.

This weekend's nightcap

The hops are pretty bold out of the gate but as with the last Rubicon, once the carbonation wears off the beer settles down. Hops are still pretty raw, not as well balanced as I would've liked but I still enjoyed. It's better than their ESB. I've never heard of Rubicon before this year, but now it's officially on my radar. I gave their ESB an Armageddon rating, but this fella has one up'd it. TRANSFORMERS rating.

Stone Ruination Double IPA with Amarillo Hops, Cask Conditioned

Like a tsunami, the smell of Axe body spray in a gym locker room and large women at R Kelly concerts, this beer is overwhelming. David and I went out to the Daily Pint Saturday night with Aaron B, Nick G and his special ladyfriend / ball-and-chain, depending on the moon's phase.

My Mouth Exploded

Marry me Margaret Thatcher! This was an apocalyptic beer. The cask conditioning is evident in smell and taste, as it heightens the already pronounced hops. Seriously, it's Southbound and down, all aboard for the train to HOPSVILLE. And by Hopsville I mean a swimming hole brimming with hopst. Smell and taste are bitter like a lemon, lemon, lemon and it lingers like the Russian Front in World War II. Confederate Calvary General Stonewall Jackson supposedly ate lemons whole for health and vitality. He'd enjoy this beer, that crazy bastard. If you haven't figured out, this hopstacular wasn't very balanced. It's outrageous. If this beer was an art piece, it'd be in the experimental section of the Tate Modern in London.

Stone, you have my respect for pushing the limits. However, this is a specialty beer and only for those bold, bold drinkers who like to have their head explode once in a blue moon. For me, once in a lifetime is enough. TRANSFORMERS 2 rating.

**Special shout out to Aaron B, who rallied to join us after a full day of Wizardry. This man rolls deep:

He is no longer Gandolf the Gray. The transformation is complete; he is now Gandolf the White.

Wilderness Survival Lesson: Stone Ruination double IPA with Amarillo hops, cask conditioned.

Whoa, probably freaked Walker out with this. Since it's cask conditioned there's almost no carbonation. Cask conditioning with Amarillo hops make this much different from the OG Ruination. This beer is crazy time and there's some characteristic that tastes like food, but I can't figure out what. This is really going to annoy me, not IDing the food taste properly. With Nick G, Beth and Aaron B at the Daily Pint, a great place for beer. This will probably be a long night.

This bear is Bear Grylls. Raw, specially trained (in casks) and double dank. Party.

Abita Andygator Helles Doppelbock

That beer title is a mouthful. Isn't Andygator something you'd name a stuffed animal? Or a character in TOY STORY? I can just imagine the goofy Dinosaur screaming, "AHHHH! It's the AAAAndy Gator!!!" and then turning around and running straight into a wall. Anywho, here it is.

As I type this up Sunday, I'm watching Star Wars IV (the first one). And I forgot about all those weird creatures and extra CGI Lucas put in on the new DVD's. It's the same movie but because I've seen the original so many times, the additions make watching some scenes a completely different experience. It's fine, it's just not what I expected.

This beer says it's a Doppelbock but if you look at the picture it, it poured much lighter than expected. And the taste was a beast unto itself. It's unique. Not to say I enjoyed it, but it's unique. The taste I couldn't place for some time because I wasn't expecting it, but David made an excellent point and nailed it. The Andygator is crisp with a dry finish. But it's also starchy. I think it's safe to say that this isn't like your typical Doppelbock. The taste is close to a cereal or even a rice based beer. It's very much like drinking a bowl of Kicks Cereal (which are for kids, so I wouldn't dare). The Andygator's odd name alludes to its flavor but to Abita's credit they made a unique beer. ARMAGEDDON rating.

Remember, the Sand People are easily startled but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

Put some Abita Andygator in my Chex mix

About to walk out the door at 8:45 and Walker calls me back to grab today's beer. A helles dopplebock, this is much more on the dopplebock track that I enjoy. The Weihenstephaner Doppler from Wednesday was way too dark for my liking. That being said, there's still a pretty unique nuttiness to the big fat sweet middle of this beer. My glass smells a lot like cereal. It's almost a yeasty taste, can't quite ID it. It's kinda like drinking a beer made out of corn chex. If this wasn't so strong, it might be a good light summer beer.

This beer is River Phoenix brought back from the dead. Distinctively blond, but not a blond. Difficult to pin down, from a "granola" background but fighting to be defined by a distinct liberal character.

Sierra Nevada Southern Hemisphere Harvest - Sierra with more Hopst

Delicious and good-lookin'. Sierra Nevada has produced another delight.

Marina del Rey balcony was a fitting place for this taste, aye?

You know those commercials advertising cookies or desert and they announce at the end, "Now with real fudge!" I hope you don't recognize that tagline because I just made it up and that makes you an easily persuaded person, but there are similar commercials and I think you know what I mean. 

Now, imagine if you took a Sierra Nevada ale and injected it with a subtle citrus and hops flavoring while maintaining a well-balanced beer. Wallah, you have the Southern Hemisphere Harvest. My endorsement is if you like regular ol' Sierra Nevada, try this big guy before summer ends! THE ROCK rating.

Sierra Nevada Sourhern Hemisphere Harvest wants to play some basketball

Heyo, this is good. Take regular Sierra Nevada and make its standard hoptacularness just a little more hoptacular. Thank you New Zealand for sharing your hops.

This beer is Charlie Murphy. Resembles his more broadly successful brother, works in Limited Release, more potent and distinct, not as ubiquitously popular. "CHALLENGE HIM!"

Weihenstephaner Korbinian - Yes, That Famous Neurologist

To my surprise, I am continuing the unprecedented run of German brewed beers named for obscure German figures with the Weihenstephaner Korbinian. Korbinian Brodman (1868-1918) was a German neurologist who became famous for his definition of the cerebral cortex into 52 distinct regions from their cytoarchitectonic (histological) characteristics.

Remember the PSA: "The More You Know...Knowledge Is Power!" Not always true. This is proof. By reading the above you either A). Forgot it immediately, or B). Actually learned a completely useless fact therein allowing an important thought to evaporate into the ether. I find it interesting that German born Frederick J. Miller, Adolphus Busch and Adolph Herman Joseph Coors forwent naming culturally significant biers that are only cool if you're a librarian or teacher in order to name mass-produced and universally accepted beer after themselves. It's very...'American.'

Now here's a picture proving that someone shouldn't quit their day job to become a professional blackberry photographer.

Michael J. Fox took this blurry pic

We drank the Korbinian at Sara P's house, where she made a traditional Jewish New Year meal that delightfully acquiesced my hunger. The bier has a sour malt smell and the taste is an avalanche of malts followed by nut and coffee. Accordingly, I'm generally not a big fan of really dark biers, but if you like dark bier you might enjoy. For me, it's an ARMAGEDDON rating.

שָׁלוֹם Weihenstephaner Korbinian

Happy Jewish New Year! Drinking another Wiehenstephaner at Sarah P's for a Rosh Hashana party. Bagels, honey and apples, lox, veggie plate, the works (I guess? It's my first time).
The Weihensteph is pretty dark for what I would consider a good doppelbock. It's not very heavy in either the sweet spicy or malty caramel chocolate direction, pretty balanced and easy going. I prefer the Aventus.
This beer is Woody Allen because he's Jewish and only some of his movies are good (Aventus). Some of them are kinda dark and kinda suck.

"Our lives are in your hands and you've got... Schneider & Sohn Aventinus?!"

Apparently this Germany's Original Wheat-Doppelbock. Looks like a dank homemade apple juice, medium brown and nearly opaque. The wheat gives it a sweet, yeasty flavor and the doppel gives it a good full malty side. A little heavier than I'd like, but the medium crispness and and subtle high alcohol make it refreshing.

This beer is Michael Crichton. Known for some hits, I'm sure many are thrilled by his work. But fully capable of creting a dud and getting involved too deeply in the commercial side of things.

Schneider & Sohns Aventinus - Warrior or Annalist?

I was hoping this beer was named after the B.A.M.F. Aventinus, the son of demigod Hercules and Rhea, (who is the Titaness daughter of Uranus (god of the sky) and Gaia (goddess of Earth)), but is instead underwhelmingly named after this peculiar Nome charming rasputin, Johanness Aventinus who wrote the Annals of Bavaria, a history of early Germany:

The background research proved to be anticlimactic and not the route I would taken but then again I'm not familiar with this gentleman's annals. But what I was introduced to yesterday was this Wheat Doppelbock scrumpet.

In the background lies the demigod which the Aventinus should be renamed for. Then again, I don't own Hasselhoff's autobiography, "Don't Hassel the Hoff." Probably a crime in its own right.

Aventinus pours a dark red/brown color and sniff sniffs of apples. I taste cinnamon and spices along with fruits, specifically apricots? That question mark isn't user error. I don't quite remember what apricots look or taste like, but for some reason but I'm fairly certain that the taste exists in this bier. I dunno, maybe I'm way off and Aventinus instead tastes like snozberries.

The best way to describe this is as a 'hefe juice,' which 8.2% alcohol is what children drink for breakfast in Germany (citation needed). I feel this breakfast companion for the little ones is pretty unique and worthy of a TRANSFORMERS rating.

Schneider and Sohns Wiesen Edel-Weisse

It's hard to follow up wheat biers like Weihenstephaner Vitus and Fraziskaner Hefe-Weisse but out of the biers tasted since last Tuesday, the Wisen Edel-Weisse is runner up.

Hefeweizen was made for a beautiful Labor Day

This fella poured beautifully and sniffered of bananas and bread. It also tasted doughy and slightly sweet. There was a full bodied and subtly balanced mix of spices, hops and malts. In good spirits and sad to see my brother Warren D leave for NYC, this feller receives a weak THE ROCK rating.

Cubs win! Goose Island Summertime w/truffle fries

Cubs 5, Astros 4. Headed over to a Wrigleyville spot with Lindsey, for a beer. Ended up grabbing this good light tasting beer with a balance of medium hops and medium sweet, pale malt. Had a Bud Light in Wrigley so this was a good alternative. Lando got the Goose Island Matilda, a hef. It was also pretty good. We had to get some food in order to sit outside. Truffle oil fries, booyah.

The Summertime can be Harry Caray, for no other reason than to honor the guy for being really, really good - better than the beer. CUBS WIN!

"Dancing has been postponed until tomorrow" or until I get another Dorlmunder Gold

"Dancing has been postponed until tomorrow" at Danny's. Grabbed another beer from Great Lakes Brewing, this time the Dorlmunder Gold. Without knowing if it actually is or not, I'd guess this is a form of an amber. Brighter malt flavor and a slightly nutty finish, but there's still a bunch of hops in there, pretty interesting combination. There's nothing offensive about this, it's relatively light and the solid character makes it easy to enjoy after every sip.

I'll call this one Lucille Ball. A bit confusing, but ultimately enjoyable.

Also, I really like Danny's.

Hopf Weisser Bock

The style is a Weizenbock, which is technically a Dunkel Weizen with a higher alcohol level. However, it's reddish in color and is much lighter than the Franziskaner Dunkel Weisse I had yesterday afternoon. A citrus aroma is followed by a full bodied hefe, but I thought it lacked in a taste palate. Now, as far as brothers go, Warren D liked how it finished.

Don Draper isn't that impressed. Get out and give me 20 ideas for a post. NOW

It's perfectly amiable, like a neighbor who walks his dog every morning by your house. He waves, but you don't know him. You wave back but don't attend his bbq. He's friendly but innocuous. TRANSFORMERS rating

Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse Dunkel Joins Delicious Ribs and Queso con Chorizo in My Belly

I'm stoked for so many reasons I can't even tell you.

Ha! Really? This is my blog, of course I'm going to blabber about it. My taller little brother Warren was in town this weekend from New York. Saturday we went to the beach and I returned to make ribs for the first time. Usually cooking is David's department, but he's away in Chicago so I stepped to be the Emeril. BAM! While the ribs were slow roasting for two hours, Warren helped me make chile con queso with chorizo, which Melissa B, Brad G, Jessica W, Warren D, Nic R, and AJ came, saw, and obliterated. And when the ribbies were finished, I was ready with excellent beer.

Fact: Fat Friars Love Pork Ribs. Go Figure

The Franziskaner Dunkel Hefe-Weisse is the moodier, darker brother of the beer I drank Thursday but retains the hefe-weisse's sweetness (btw in German hefe = yeast, weisse = wheat). The dark caramel malts and spices mix together nicely. As far as pairing goes, the pork ribs were already sweet from the Goode & Co. bbq sauce and a more complimentary beer choice would've been a dark ale without the hefe-weisse sweetness, like a Bock. But whatever, I love sweets and the bier was great. The ribs were freaking great. Who's got two thumbs and makes awesome ribs? THIS GUY.

This fella was a well balanced bier and the combination proved a nice change of pace from the normal hefe's and dark beers I've imbibed lately. THE ROCK rating.

Great Lakes Brewing Lake Erie Monster Double IPA

Continuing my Chicago vacation with Lindsey A at Northside Bar. Lake Erie Monster seemed to be a smart pick because I was trying to make a local choice. Started with a Raging Bitch earlier today, so the bar was set high.

It just isn't very distinctive. It's definitely a double IPA and it's pretty clean, but the carbonation is low and there wasn't much about this that was stand-out awesome. It lacked the full-bodied sweetness that really good Imperials have. I will be moving on to something else local.

This beer is Al Boreland (Richard Karn) of "Tool Time" fame. You can't name a beer Lake Erie Monster without it being a little endearing. But ultimately this is never going to be a big hit.

Hofbrau Original, a hundred feet from home.

In Chicago with Lindsey and upon arriving at her place, discovered there was a Hofbrau bar about 100 feet from her plce and she didn't know. Decided to take advantage of this immediately. Started with a .5L of the Oktoberfest, but I'll pretend like that didn't happen. Then shared a liter of original Hofbrau with LaLa.

Lindsey after 3 sips. "It's very smooth. It has taste. It had good head. I like it. It has a hoppy aftertaste but not so strong that it makes me feel like I can't breathe on anyone else."

Hofbrau is so simple and delicious. There's just nothing wrong with it. The Bavarian hops and clean crispness are the highlights.

Lindsey suggested that this beer is should be the Hoff, but come on, yeah right. Ok, fine. Hofbrau can be David Hasselhoff, but not for all the reasons that make Hasselhoof a big embarrassment. For other reasons, like...

Weihenstephaner Festbier, LABOR DAY begins

In honor of uber efficient Germans and lazy drunk Americans, over Labor Day I am continuing the German beer theme which began Tuesday at Library Ale House. I picked up a wheelbarrow's worth of German bier at Beverage Warehouse, thanks to my half-day Friday and enjoyed the fruits of my labor (or lack thereof) catching up on Rescue Me. It's melodramatic at times but Leary is the shit.

Texas Longhorns are #5 baby!

Weihenstephaner is the same brewery from Tuesday's post and this is their Marzen, or festival beer (like Oktoberfest). Marzen means 'March' and usually applies to a beer brewed in the late spring to use up the last of the previous fall's hops and malt before brewing ceased for the summer. Efficient, right? It's been around a while, since the 1860's (interestingly Oktoberfest started in 1810). The beer is a lager and has nice gold coloring. The idea of a Marzen is to be all about the malt, but balance the bier out with hops. Z malts were there but the hops didn't check in. It has good drinkability though and I could be persuaded to drinks 3 steins of this before lunch in late September/early October in Munich. 3 steins = 9 beers and would be apocalyptic for me; accordingly, ARMAGEDDON. 

Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse, golden goodness

David was at the Hofbrau Haus in Chicago and inspired me to acquire a bier from z fatherland (Deustcheland). Willkommen Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse! (and that friends, is the sad extent of my German).

A Fat Franciscan - A Sign of Greatness

The aroma is a delightfully strong citrus and orange with a little banana. This fellow is a hefeweizen, but not your watered down Blue Moon stuff.  Full bodied and fairly sweet, like a grandfather or the old chubby friar on the label - which the website actually animates to rub his belly like a happy fat kid. Good for him. This beer is rich and well balanced. Women who only drink Hefe's will enjoy it, but won't be able to have more than a couple.

This is a quality beer. There's nothing more to say, just look at the monk on the label and know you're in good hands. Drink this, it's THE ROCK.

Green Flash Brewing Grand Cru Steals Fire from the Gods

Green Flash Brewery I'm becoming impressed with. It's one of those very small breweries that I can't help but admire because they are Promethean. Their Double IPA is wild. Le Freak combines an Imperial IPA with a Belgian Tripel and tastes fantastic. They brew types which are out of the box and in doing so have won me over. I love a beer that's especially unique. Wednesday we tasted Grand Cru.

So um, where can I steal a Green Flash glass from?

It pours dark with limited head and has a rich chocolate and nutty aroma. It's a dark ale but made with Belgian and American yeasts, so it's sweet but less like caramel and more like ice cream. There is a strong presence of malt and the beer finishes quickly thanks to it's 9.1% alcohol content. It's fairly balanced and not too filling.

This is an HB Toss Pass (any NCAA football gamers out there?). You are sucked into this beer's standard dark ale aroma and appearance but as the HB (halfback) swings around the end he doesn't keep running. Oh damn. He falls back and heaves the ball downfield. The safety has bit on the running action and scrambles to recover but it's too late. Boom shaka laka, it's sweet and finishes quickly.

Grand Cru, you're a solid trick play and I plan on drinking you at THE ROCK.

Green Flash (AHahhhhh!) Grand Cru

I have never seen the "green flash" following a sunset, but I suppose it exists. I have also not seen "Flash" the superhero, though that stands to reason. This beer isn't as extraordinary as either of these things, but neither of them can get you sloshed, so maybe the Grand Cru isn't so bad after all.

I didn't expect the intensity of the darker malts in this, but they do well to balance the alcohol. There's a good deal of chocolate and a secondary coffee bean aftertaste, though neither are overwhelming. It's kind of like a strong brown. Carbonation is regular enough, though I prefer Grand Crus with a bit more similarity to Golden Strongs. I may find a reason to drink this again, maybe at the Green Flash Brewery near SD sometime soon?

This beer is Elizabeth Whatley. Loves chocolate, coffee, an occasional spot of alcohol and at certain times can definitely be regarded as Grand Cru. She's of mixed domestic and foreign origin, and for some people, entirely unpleasant in large doses.